My best friend and I have met on Facetime for the past two years and talked about our year. We reflected on how the year went and reminded each other of the wins we had forgotten. We also think of a few words to represent the new year. And today, my amazing therapist reminded me of this tradition when she asked me what word I would describe 2022 and what I want for 2023.
One has always stuck with me since my best friend said it in 2020. It is unwavering in my truth. This is so important to me as I move into the new year. This past year I would describe it as chaos. I moved to a sublet apartment and then back to my childhood home. It was finding what Amarilys Melva Rodriguez wanted. It was filled with lessons and plenty of them. I would take two steps forward and then realize I was scared as hell, or that I wasn't used to this change, or that maybe the relationship wasn't too bad and that I missed him (I do, though. I don't think that's something that stops.) and then relearn and move forward again. It took going back to my old self five times this past year to reach a point where I told myself enough. "I do not like how this makes you feel. He does not deserve you. He doesn't want you. And guess what? You don't want him. I do not like the person you become when you return to him. I like the person you become when you focus on yourself. I love how you are growing. Let's continue that path" Side note; I am so thankful for my therapist and best friends who let me learn at my pace. With the growth made this past year, I get closer to the 'unwavering in my truth.'
This year has taught me how much I love myself. How much I can rely on myself. How much I should depend on me. When I am not stuck in anxiety, catastrophizing, or intrusive, rushing thoughts, I welcome my true self in. I have been stuck for so long that the stuck feels comfortable, but the growth doesn't. I have been fighting growth. Well, I am here now, and that I am proud of.
I welcome 2023 with 'Unwavering in my truth' I also welcome it with Focus and Calm.
There is so much that I am looking forward to accomplishing, and I can't wait to bring you along on the journey.